O Father, Father!!

Once upon a time, Father and son were sitting on the porch. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and the father was enjoying the time with his kid, “Grown up” kid. Suffering from fractional sightlessness, the father’s vision was not able to spot a beautiful kiwi bird sitting on grill of the veranda. Since the father lost his hearing aid a day before, his hearing faculty was not up to the mark. Just when the father heard a faded chirp besides him, he got inquisitive to know about the bird. He asked his son- “My beloved son, please tell me which bird is this”. The son told him that it’s a Kiwi bird. Unable to hear clearly, the father asked again. Again the same reply, with an aggravated tone, “Kiwi Bird”. Cautiously, the father asked the same query. The son lost his temper and screamed, “Father don’t you see, I am doing my work. Why are you irritating me like this? I don’t know about the bird”. The father got up from his chair, and peacefully walked down to his old room. After 30 minutes, the father went to the porch with an old, worn-out book. He sat beside his son and started reading few lines. The old man’s diary read- 21 December 1981- “I have become a father of a healthy 3 kg son. He looks stunning. The feeling cannot be described in words……..” (Rest of it could not be read because it got wiped off by the happy tears of the father). The father flipped few pages and the page dated 21 December 1983 read- “My son is 2 years now. He is the cutest baby. He called me ‘Papa’ today. I felt so contented that I invited all the relatives for a celebration.” The page dated 21 December 1985 read- “Today was my son’s first day to school. He came back with his tiny little bag. Aww.. He is so adorable and charming. He asked me the spelling of LION. My little son did not understand the spelling at the first go. I made him learn the spelling again and again. It was at my 30th effort, that he was able to write LION. Every time my son asked me to spell LION, I got so thrilled; I got so happy that my little darling angel is learning to write his very first word. If he would have asked me this same question 100 times, my happiness would increase with each of his question”

The moment, the father completed reading this line; the son broke down in tears. Afterall, the father had asked just 2 times about the “Kiwi bird”, and the son lost his temper!!
On the other hand, the father was filled with joy when his 4 year old son asked him the spelling of Lion.

Our parents love us a lot. They are the very few people on earth who shower their unconditional and unrestricted love on us. The mother has sacrificed her sleep, so that her child can sleep serenely. She has given up her beautiful sari to buy her “little princess daughter”, her first prom dress. The father would do anything to see his son on top. He is the only male in the world who would want the son to exceed his stature in society.

Why after all this, we leave our parents in old age? Why after so much unconditional love, the son thinks that his father is not intellectual enough to solve his day to day tribulations. The person, who taught you to solve problems in mathematics, is assumed to be a problem in old age. Why it happens that the people who taught you how to walk, become an obstacle in your “run” for wealth, fame and money.

Aren’t we losing out on our treasure, our real treasure, Our Parents?

They have done enough for us, its time for us to repay the gratitude to them. It’s our time to hold their hand and assure them that come what may, we will give them all the happiness possible on earth. Let our vision be for them. Let our eyes be the doorway for them to see the world. Let our ears be totally dedicated to them, to hear the beautiful and magnificent music of life.

Let us all be proud of our parents, for we owe a lot to them!!

Graduating from Life

What should you do with rest of your life? About three thousand years ago, a Jewish king named Solomon aired his opinion on the subject. As he put it, he "wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives".

Solomon was an interesting character, and he had a lot going for him. He was intelligent. Indeed, this sage king still has the reputation of being the "wisest man who ever lived". He also had the means to do practically anything he wanted to do. In his old age, Solomon found time to reflect on his lifelong experiences. And he passed his thoughts down in writing. He starts off by telling us that everything in life is meaningless. "I know, because I have seen it all. You name it, I've done it. I not only did it, but I did it in a big time, kingly fashion. I denied myself nothing, nothing at all. But looking back on it now, I can tell you none of it amounted to a hill of beans."
"What do you think is worthwhile in life? The pursuit of pleasure? I had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines. I had music from men and women singers; all the wine I could drink; and a palace full of people falling all over themselves doing everything they could think of to get in my good graces. "Sure, it is enjoyable up to a point. But when you get everything you want whenever you want it, you quickly discover how meaningless pleasure really is.
"Here is what I've learned: Whenever you seek pleasure, pleasure eludes you. The only way you may find pleasure is by seeking something else first. It could be nothing more than paying someone a sincere compliment, or giving someone a hand with an unpleasant task.
"The idea is that when you least expect it, happiness suddenly bubbles up like a well inside of you. You don't find pleasure; pleasure finds you. Pursuing pleasure is like chasing after the wind.
"If not pleasure, then what? Wealth? Do you think you should dedicate your life to the pursuit of wealth? I had houses, vineyards, gardens, parks, fruit trees, reservoirs watering groves of trees, slaves, more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem, horses and chariots, and more silver and gold than anyone can imagine. I had it all. But if money and things could buy happiness, then I would have been the happiest man that ever lived. "But what did I discover? Just this: Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. A rich man doesn't even sleep well at night. He's too worried about his money. "Money has its uses, but don't lose perspective. We were born naked, and when we die, we're going to take with us just what we brought into this world. Whatever we acquire will be left to someone who had not worked for it."
If neither pleasure nor wealth are worthwhile pursuits, how about the scholarly pursuit of knowledge?
"Oh yes, I spent a great deal of time in study. I learned everything I could about every subject under the sun. That's how I got my reputation for wisdom. It didn't fall out of a tree, you know. What did I find out? Only this: The more you learn, the more you discover there is to know. Even the brightest of us are ignorant of many things. Certainly, wisdom is better than foolishness, but remember, in a few years, both the wise man and the fool wind up in the grave. Before long both are forgotten."
So, pleasure, wealth, and knowledge all have limited value. What's left? Work? "Yes, I worked. I built houses, planted vineyards, gardens, parks, fruit trees, and groves of trees. I delighted in my work. That was my reward."Of course, it was merely a temporary 'feel-good-about-it' sort of thing. In the long run, all of our toil is useless. Whatever you make, you can't take with you. And in due course, whatever we create will be torn down or destroyed and soon forgotten."
So, the wise man threw a wet blanket over most of the things people devote themselves to today. Then what should we do? How should we spend our brief time on earth?
The answer is simple: "A man can do nothing better than to eat, drink and find satisfaction in work. Enjoy life with the one you love. Be happy and do good as long as you live. Whatever you do, do it with all the might because you never know when life might end. "While we are young, enjoy life as much as possible. But don't forget, God will judge everything we do. The years slip by quickly. Infants turn into youths, youths into adults, adults into middle age, and middle age into old age. It doesn't take long at all. "All too soon, the troubles and afflictions of age sap the strength and weaken the mind. Then death calls your number and body returns to the ground from where it came, and soul returns to God who gave it."
Solomon concludes his advice with this warning: "God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked."
Has Solomon's 3,000-year-old advice stood the test of time?
Some things have changed. Primarily, we have more gadgets these days than they had back in his time. But our basic choices remain the same. We can dedicate our lives to pleasure, money or possessions, or knowledge, or work. Then again when we reflect on the brevity of life, the certainty of death, and the promise of judgment, we might decide Solomon knew what he was talking about.But what about God judging the good and wicked? The moral law certainly implies that God cares about us, what we do with our lives, and the choices we make. Also our longing for justice, often frustrated in this life, leads us to believe, we will get whatever we are due in the world to come. By the end of the book, Solomon reaches a different conclusion: Life has a point after all. Our sojourn can best be described as a sort of boot camp or school of hard knocks. We are here to learn. Learn what? Learn that pleasures, money, possessions, knowledge, and work all have only limited value. None of these pursuits should be the focal point of our lives.
Our primary task is to develop character, that is, a certain type of character. Earth, we discover, is nothing more than a large training centre for character. Those who graduate have learned their lessons on: fair play, unselfishness, humility, courage, faithfulness, honesty, truthfulness, and treating others with respect.

The Platinum Handshake

Golden Rule: Others would like to be treated the way “you” like to be treated

Platinum Rule: Treat others the way “they” want to be treated.

Well, these are the two set of laws which most of the Top Leaders pursue. Not only leaders, but people who have established a definite stature in the society, quite agree with these above mentioned rules. But if we examine the two statements in seclusion, they transmit two separate ideas.

The first rule, the “Golden Rule” is based on the hypothesis that the population would respond in a similar fashion in almost all state of affairs. For example, if confronted with a unconstructive grave proclamation on my outfit, I would have a tendency to retort in the similar way to that of my coworker; or in that case my response to a pleasing and flattering remark would be quite analogous to that of my best friend.

On that contrary, the second rule, the “Platinum Rule”, runs on the postulation that the people would react quite differently when faced with a similar episode. Since people have different set of values, dissimilar interests, their comeback on a particular event would be quite divergent.

The corollary of the Golden rule holds quite true in case of various marketing campaigns. Our greatest Marketing Gurus state that understanding the human behavior, of its target audience, would facilitate an organization to sell its products and services in the most competent and lucrative approach. In short, they segment their product and services for different set of audience and come up with dissimilar campaigns. Well, major corporate giants use this rule for their advertising crusade. For example; IBM came up with their punch line- “Don’t sell what you have, sell what they need”, clearly wanted them to be positioned as someone who understands their customers better that any of their rivals.

I stoutly believe that the Golden rule has become obsolete and it’s time for the Platinum Rule. “Customization is the key”. It is the time when the companies are particularly targeting on the segmentation of the population.

On the personal front, treating people based on the “Platinum Rule” would be the wisest thing to do. Two girls, Anjali and Pooja, best of friends, had a heated argument one day. Anjali was quite a sensitive person and she got furious when Pooja gave a “blunt” healthy advice to her. Pooja, on the other hand, was a very candid and an outspoken person. Her intention was not to hurt Anjali; rather she wanted her to improve in a particular area. Pooja, being a candid person herself, would not feel bad if someone gave a suggestion on her improvement areas. She assumed that, just like her, Anjali would not feel offended by her statement. Consequently the relationship got strained because Pooja was following the Golden Rule, the rule which said that, others would like to be treated the way “you” like to be treated.

If Pooja would have given Anjali the same advice in an ambassadorial fashion, Anjali would not have felt awful.

This fictitious example gives us an idea on how we can improvise on our relationships with our Clients, Our Parents of for that matter, our friends. It’s an era of Customization and the time of Platinum rule is now.